Wendy

Last week we watched some of Peter Pan, Camilla's first Disney film. I have actually never seen it before myself. But as I'm sure you all know, Wendy has to leave the nursery, as she's too grown up. Part of her wants to grow up, and part of her would like to stay a child forever. Well, I feel a bit like Wendy at the moment. I don't want the children to grow up too much, and I don't want to get older myself either. In 2 more weeks Camilla will start preschool. She's leaving Di's Daycare, where she has spent 4 days a week since she was 5 months old. It has gone so fast and Di, Lynn, and Luigi have been like a family to her, so it's making me feel sad that she has to leave them. I know they must be sad too, every time a child grows up and leaves.

On the other hand, I see Camilla growing up, becoming a little girl, and it's really wonderful.

In the past few weeks she's suddenly become aware of the needs of people around her. When I don't feel well, she says "Oh, Mummy. You'll feel better soon" and gives me a kiss. Yesterday I had a few tears and she was right there to comfort me, and told Daddy he was a "nice man" to give me a cuddle. She looks after Stanley too, distracting him in the car when he is tired and fussy, and letting me know if he is touching something he shouldn't be. And she tells Bao Bao that she loves him and pets him so tenderly.

She's also developing a sense of humour. The other day Peter told her not to shout and she said 'I'm just talking very loudly'. She said it with a twinkle in her eye. She knew she was being a cheeky chops. She makes up lots of silly songs. And deliberately does baby talk with Stanley. I wish I could remember some of the other funny things she has come out with recently.

Plus, her comprehension is so good now that we are starting to have real conversations. She notices so much about the world around her, things I haven't noticed myself, and her head is chockablock with information. Yesterday she asked me what Snow White meant (that was our 2nd Disney film). I explained that she was called that because her skin was as white as snow. She said 'like Mary's lamb'.

She wants to do everything herself - toilet, handwashing, getting a drink. These glimmers of independence are a nice preview of life when we don't have to do everything for our children.

Independence comes with some defiance too! Yesterday I wouldn't give Camilla a lollipop because she had just had a cupcake. Not only did she scream, but she also said "it's not fair!" I sat down with her and we had a 'grown up talk'. I explained that too much sugar would make her feel sick. I asked her if she understood. She said yes. I said "I love you" and she gave me a kiss and said "I love you too, Mummy." :)

At other times, when she's tired or hungry, she's still a baby. Just because she can say the names and sounds of all her letters and count to 15, doesn't mean she is ready for everything. I left her alone with Snow White on the TV and had to come running to pick her up when she screamed in terror at the Wicked Witch. So she still needs her mummy, but she's ready for school, and ready to grow up. And I can't wait to see what she does next.

Milestones

Milestones come thick and fast these days. In the past 2 weeks Stan has learned to clap, use a sippy cup, walk to me or Peter when we ask him to, and half an hour ago he learned to use a straw. But it's the one-offs and the untraditional milestones that are more memorable and poignant. I'll never forget taking Camilla to the Enchanted Forest in Oregon. She was petrified of the 3 bears, too scared to get out of the pushchair for half an hour after running from their house. But then she decided to go on a ferris wheel and bumper boats on her own! And I won't forget the other night, when she was standing on her chair, drawing on her chalk board, stark naked. "Mum! Dad! I've got chalk in my bum!" She removed the piece of chalk from between said buttocks and shouted "It's magic!" I hope I don't forget the times recently that she has told me she loves me, or yesterday when she said "I'm so glad to see you mum". I can't stop smiling every time Stanley does one of his quirky little head shakes, or when he sings 'ee i ee i o' to Old McDonald, or crawls into my lap and gives me a sloppy smooch on the lips. I go gooey when he waves 'night night' to everyone and asks me for his bedtime book. I felt proud that Camilla was so good at her first dentist appointment yesterday, and then I was tickled that after receiving a new toothbrush (with butterflies), a sticker, and a toy, and a banana she still asked where her treat was. And I felt wistful and sad when I noticed that Camilla's once-soft baby feet are now starting to develop callouses from walking. Every day something special happens to balance out the hard stuff - like this morning when I was changing a wriggling Stan's diaper in a public bathroom and heard Camilla say "Mum - I need to do a weeeeeeeeeeee", or the exasperation I felt last night when Camilla had been screaming with tiredness for 45 minutes but still wouldn't go to sleep. It's such a cliche, but the good moments make it all worthwhile.

The Church of Humpty

I have started getting a taste of what my future will be like with a teenage daughter. Camilla has been insisting that she knows more than I do. Example: "Where's Daddy?" "At work." "No, he's not at work. He's at the supermarket." "No - he's at work." "No, Mummy, he's NOT AT WORK!!!!"

She's becoming a mini-grown up in lots of good ways too, though. It's very endearing hearing "you're welcome, Mummy" and "Good job, Mummy." Last week Camilla helped me make snickerdoodles. It took much longer with her help than without, but I was impressed that she was able to take my dough balls and roll them in cinnamon sugar, then put them on a baking tray. Several times when I handed her a ball she said "Good job, Mummy. You're so helpful, Mummy." Can't get much cuter than that!

Camilla is still obsessed with nursery rhymes. She never tires of hearing the same songs over and over again. The same cannot be said for us. All I can do is borrow new nursery rhyme compilations from the library every couple of weeks - it's such a relief to have 'Little Miss Tucket' as well as 'Little Miss Muffet' but the novelty is very short-lived. I sometimes relieve the boredom with some of my own 'adult' versions - only in my head of course. Of the dozens of nursery rhymes Camilla knows off by heart, Humpty and Miss Muffet still reign supreme. I'm not sure that Camilla understands that they aren't real. She often asks us where they are. Camilla's adoration of Humpty actually comes close to worship. She draws images of her egg deity all over the house, and refuses to accept that he cannot be put back together again. In her unique Church of Humpty, Humpty never dies. Instead he is magically resurreggted.

Stanley has astonished us recently by not being a mere face-bashing brute. In spite of being ignored by all of us 99% of the time, he has started talking. He says "bye bye" while waving, "UP" when he wants to be picked up, "Mummy", "Daddy", "BaoBao" and "mi--" (milk). He can also imitate multi-syllabic words with amazing accuracy, and does an excellent "miaow" and "quack". When combined with the fact that he gives full kisses on the lips and has eyelashes most women dream of, he is really quite adorable at the moment. But don't let his verbal maturity fool you. He still manages to hit his head 10 times in a row on the same bit of table top. So we're hardly in genius territory.

OK, time to read Camilla some nursery rhymes. I can't wait!